you are not pain
except for my side
you being innocent
i am not

i don’t come clean
thus i see you as pain
if this mess is gone
i am sure you, is my lover

you are here
reflecting me
of what i don’t know before
with you, i am

you, an object
because of me
with no subject
you, don’t exist

here, now
i see you clearly
not you, the pain
but “i”.

before that
pain is pain
after that
pain is not pain

pain
won’t be called pain
if it is not painful
if it is not unbearable
if it is not intolerable

Yet, what is pain
as an object
that makes painfulness happens
that makes the mind rejects
that makes experience dark?

pain, an object
is not “pain”
until the mind meets it
so what is this object
when it is not “pain”?

extreme sensation?
extreme unwholesome states?
but what is “extreme”?
huge? large? big?
inquire, investigate, observe dearly

you are an old friend,
a darkness just too familiar with
never once am I willing to meet you
but you came uninvited
avoiding the unavoidable

oh! pain
what are you
unbearable, unspeakable
let me for once see you
for real, a shadow or a disguise?

let me have the faith
in falling into you
let me surrender
let me merge in you
and find out finally what you are

when me is not me
and pain is not pain
where subject and object ends
what is left
surely is true bliss!

no birth there is
nor death
as “being” never was
whence then is birth
much death?

being, a silly idea
where none existed
except an illusion
made real
through ignorance

being, but an idea,
so too is birth
or death
all made up
through ignorance

wakeup to ideas
wakeup to birth
wakeup to death
wakeup to existence
that never was

what Is, always
Unchanged
Unconditioned
Unborn
Timelessness

issues abound
endless, unresolved
internal, external
filled to the brim
no end is in sight
what should I do?

day in day out
new coming
old compounding
stress, worries
restless all here
rarely freedom is seen

surely there is goodness
surely there is peace
surely there is love too
yet a sight of them
not at all seen
only darkness all there is

yet I remembered
a sage did say
light is found
where darkness is
and unbelievably
only one is real

a clue he gave
a signpost he made
a map inviting
a road so clear
I never knew
until shown

if faith is upon me
how should I begin
how do I find
how do I go about it
so as what he said
becomes my own

truth is in my vision
not in my sight
for that I need to work
on my perception
such that what is happening
is all well and good.

issues will forever be
subject to condition they are
as such I could only work within
proven by the sages
shifting from sight to vision
i will taste freedom

a world of two occurring
strangely
one darn real
the other hidden

as if
a snake is seen
causing shivers
running down the spine

paralyze in perspiration
so real
until a second look
a rope was all it is

snake never was
a mere perception play
unnoticed
truth hidden from sight

neither there was
a two object
nor a two world
only but the ignorant view

what if I say unto you
this world
a mere snake
which never was

darn real
you lived in fear
in defence and attack
all just in vain

in you
another there is
untouched, unblemished
awaiting your vision

never was there fear
nor snake
only ignorant play
which only you can undo

this world never was
nor does it exist
veiled by ignorance
seemingly be

so look no further
a child play indeed
here, now
you can wakeup to

the Way
is what is
establishing in vision
the snake never was.

a Real World awaits
but not the kind
ignorant offers
Signlessness, Timelessness, Unconditioned

you know me by the clock
but that is not what i am
i am not second, minute or hour,
date, calendar, year or age
that seemingly implies i exist
but you got me all wrong

i am not even past or future
or even now!
i am neither any of it
do see me by my true name
and do not imply me for this or that
but know me for what I am

so what am i really?
you know me but you know me not!
you take me without question
implying me now and then
at nearly all occasions
but do you really know me?

but let me tell you this
in case you are unclear
if you think i exist
you are really fooled
and if you think i don’t
you are in deep trouble

i am not what you think
an object simply mentioned
i am a mere shadow, an apparition
of a direct experience
that you cannot escape
occurring at the door of your mind

mind aggregates
and bodily processes
each their own conditions
as they arise
unavoidable, inescapable
you took it as time.

you have been hoodwinked
to think there is time
but the truth is not out there
nor in here in your mind
except for processes of mind-bodily
playing out its game

as they arise it was wrongly understood
volitional reaction or respond
is where it is being intended
thus mistaken it as a doing
of something that can prolong or end
thus introducing time to arise

greed, aversion and delusion
is what makes me
craving to be and to exist once more
thus making each moment
a time-based experience
but in truth, an error, a tiny mad idea

so long as the trio are not transcended
you will expect me to be around
for a little while longer, God knows!
blindly you may exclaim –
there is no time found!
but that is just the trio ploy!

so here a grace is offered
a precious opportunity to realize
for what I am
while time still exist
and I will be your shadow
until the “you” no longer exist!

because
is how you tell
of a happening
that no longer exist

be-cause
is what you intent
to do
that will become

be-in-the-cause
is where
error occurs
where a doer appears

be-at-the-cause
is what
you stand at
producing a result anyway

aware-cause
is what
the Way is
leading to no cause

be…
the cycle turns
aware…
turning ends

because
more causes come to be
aware-cause
no cause

no cause
thus no effect
be-conditioned
to un-conditioned

as in a dream
where no maker
making it
but a making
taking place
where you
a central figure
living it
seems to have
a say in it

as much as real
as it always is
a dream
one must
fall again
a night affair
none can avoid
taking on a journey
no one
has a choice

from nightingales
to nightmares
or absurd happenings
to insights
none of which
your doing
but a reliving
of what
your strange mind
can do

a dream
just a dream
where no one in it
but so real
as if i am there
you are in it
together we interact
with roads
and the air we breathe
but a dream it was

mind oh! mind
how you trick
and conjure
a reality
that never was
giving a realness
that soon
ends prematurely
as waking up
takes over

but little
does one ponder
or question
what dreams
really are
except moving on
or continue
what is
more important
leaving dream forgotten

only, if only…
a dream
being question
what dreams
really are
not the kind of dream
nor why such a dream
of content making
but what
IS really dreams?

so what is dream?
have you questioned?
probably
it is just a sleep thingy
a nightly affair
where one slips into
and wake again
but that is not
where the question
is intended

you never question
nor
are you interested
where the question
can leads you
except for the content
sometimes unpleasant
sometimes stressful
rarely joyful
by the face in the mirror

dreams are
making you
that has you
and me
and everything,
but yet there is none
empty and no-sense
are you then
not interested
what dreams are?

if only you realize
it is the mind
a river of processes
unstoppable
unclaimable
untouchable
impersonal
no you within it
then you would
have known clearly
what is also reading now!

everything
being staged
is but just the mind
– the centre stage of experiences

rest
you will not
if craving
leads
your mind,
where
you may not
be aware
it possesses you

yes,
rest you may take
but rest you will not
as craving
is living you
in seeking
and always restless,
how then can
rest be?

rest
you will not
if craving
is not solved,
where
every second
is relentlessly
greed’s agenda
in pursuant

only
by right practise
are craving and greed
solved
with aversion
done away with,
where no return
is possible

until then,
rest
you should not,
where
rest you could not,
due to craving;
either way
of rest you will die

so better
not to rest
for the sake of practice
than
not able to rest
because of craving,
where strangely
rest is found
in no-rest right practice

no-rest is rest
where
right practice
is concern,
whereas
rest is no-rest
where
craving is present,
both need your discernment

you were never
without
unless you are not
within

not knowing
within
you think
you are without

as such you seek
without
unbeknown all is
within

without
will never fulfil you
as it makes you forget
within

the more you seek
without
ignorant you become of
within

what then is left
is only without
and losing within
becomes your reality

but lost is impossible
and never will be
as within is always true
except now forgotten

you only
need to give up without
and
within would reveal itself

yet, giving up without
is near impossible
as with no within at sight
nothing is left of you!

oh! frightening
you will be
clutching without
you try to seek within

yet within cannot
be sought
as it is
either within or without!

only by giving up without
within is reveal
but by seeking within
only endures without

in no ways
within can be known
if without
is in place

the only way
in solving this error
is to realize
without never was

as such
no exchange is require
nothing needs giving up
only to realize!

you were never
without
unless you are not
within

not knowing
within
you think
you were without

as such you seek
without
unbeknown all is
within

without
will never satisfy you
as it makes you thirst
within

what then is left
is only without
and lack
becomes your reality

unknowingly
you thirst without
the more
within becomes obscure

but it never was
and never will be
as within is your only domain
except now forgotten

within was never lost
only to be known
when without
is truly seen as untrue

yet within cannot
be sought
otherwise
without will only be

for seek
is the reason of lack
of which
without is the cause

oh dear
a convoluted state now is
where without
is seeking within

in now way
within can be known
if without
is in process

as such
a new education required
without must be given up
in exchange for within

but lack
could never give up
as itself
is already deprived

this whole mess
from just an error
yet not seen
a mass of delusion born

no exchange require
nothing needs giving up
except to realize
without never was!

mind swollen
inflammation at risk
potential rupturing
danger awaits

day in day out
hallucinations stalk
endless meanings
dis-ease abound

hell indeed
this crazy mind
unpleasant experiences
is its offer

victim i feel
victimizer i play

lack i hate
abundance i long

insecurity my nemesis
fear i worry

superiority my liking
inferiority i wish not

endless thinking
frequent judging

restless i am
often then not, bored

scheming privately
subtly manipulates

swollen indeed this mind
in pain it goes living
yet in truth
nothing occur
except experiences
mindmade they are

merely conjuring ideas
fabrication it is
an illusion not known
a dream made real
this mind
but just a phenomenon

only to be realized
and finally it is gone

no i
no player
no stage
no spectator
no one realized
but to be realized!

 

---

It did happened yet it did not.
Only because a dream it was, and finally awakened.

silently aware
of this continuous river
as it appears

from nowhere
it comes,
to nowhere
it goes,
directionless,
timeless,
formless,
devoid of you
arises from conditions
passes off by conditions
with no true essense

the realm of the mind
is this river
where location never was
and time,
never exist
except as a concept,
no shape,
no form,
no distance
not even body
or age

you
is found in it
never a being
a person
or a self
but an elusive idea
cleverly made up
by ignorance
as if a
doer is
this river

the seer of these all
is self not
or a knower
or watcher
or anything
that come close
to a doer;
nay,
none at all
is there a being
but just the mind

strange indeed
is this mind
cannot be measured
cannot be found
cannot be localized
except known
and realized
directly
for what it is
with no one
realizing it

nothing
is not forerun
by mind
nothing
is not mind made
as all experiences
are
but the mind
including you
a phenomenon
unexplainable

to realize it
is freedom
to ignore it
is doom
so start on the journey
where no one
is walking
but undoing
is done
where
end is inevitable.

---

If the mind is not realized, down the rabbit hole you will go where unimaginable horrors awaits you, where suffering is unavoidable.

let’s not talk about tomorrow
or even yesterday
as much is on our plate
is constantly now

let’s not talk about later
or even awhile ago
as much in our space
is what is already here
now

yet the now is giving way
to another now
endlessly
seamlessly
forgetting for a moment
how transient now is

if past has already gone
and future has yet to arise
and now
sigh…
is constantly passing off
what is left of me
except
a ghost,
a bubble,
arising to die?

what am I here for
I wonder…
in the midst of transiency
uncontrollable
and constant exhaustion
of experiences
i could not even call mine
and yet
experience I have to
not a moment
past
without it.

woeful indeed
to be such,
of nobody’s land
of unseen territory
of endless journey
seeing no end to it

to awaken is bliss.
beyond…
this is what i am here for
to walk the way
other than that
all are meaningless.

ignorance works darn strangely
and definitely ignorantly –
when one doesn’t face her inner voices
one points a finger at others
by making wrongness in them
or play God by
summoning what should and should not be done

instead of seeing what is within that needs reform
ignorance misplaces one’s vision
with misperception
mistaking what is true as false
and making what is false as further truth
unknowingly
creating righteousness out of wrongness
furthering what is already in front –
instead of healing
to total oblivion

having seen you so often
I simply can’t believe
how blatant you can be
reappearing again when condition permits
through the backdoor of non-awareness
entering as words of concern
or advice of so-called wisdom
and at times under pretence of compassion
as though holier than thou

in sheep skin
you came asunder
only to be found later
a wolf
of deep revenge
returning with a vengeance
of what is not faced
pushed many a times
to the abyss of the mind
through ancient times
of self deceit
and self betrayal
of lessons unlearned
returning to haunt
one more time
and yet another

with wisdom razor sharp clarity
with supporting right perception
and right understanding
one leaves the world
as one leaves what has been excreted
never again unawake
never again ignorant
to the delusion the mind creates
winning the other shore
so difficult to reach.