swollen

mind swollen
inflammation at risk
potential rupturing
danger awaits

day in day out
hallucinations stalk
endless meanings
dis-ease abound

hell indeed
this crazy mind
unpleasant experiences
is its offer

victim i feel
victimizer i play

lack i hate
abundance i long

insecurity my nemesis
fear i worry

superiority my liking
inferiority i wish not

endless thinking
frequent judging

restless i am
often then not, bored

scheming privately
subtly manipulates

swollen indeed this mind
in pain it goes living
yet in truth
nothing occur
except experiences
mindmade they are

merely conjuring ideas
fabrication it is
an illusion not known
a dream made real
this mind
but just a phenomenon

only to be realized
and finally it is gone

no i
no player
no stage
no spectator
no one realized
but to be realized!

 


It did happened yet it did not.
Only because a dream it was, and finally awakened.

serious work

silently aware
of this continuous river
as it appears

from nowhere
it comes,
to nowhere
it goes,
directionless,
timeless,
formless,
devoid of you
arises from conditions
passes off by conditions
with no true essense

the realm of the mind
is this river
where location never was
and time,
never exist
except as a concept,
no shape,
no form,
no distance
not even body
or age

you
is found in it
never a being
a person
or a self
but an elusive idea
cleverly made up
by ignorance
as if a
doer is
this river

the seer of these all
is self not
or a knower
or watcher
or anything
that come close
to a doer;
nay,
none at all
is there a being
but just the mind

strange indeed
is this mind
cannot be measured
cannot be found
cannot be localized
except known
and realized
directly
for what it is
with no one
realizing it

nothing
is not forerun
by mind
nothing
is not mind made
as all experiences
are
but the mind
including you
a phenomenon
unexplainable

to realize it
is freedom
to ignore it
is doom
so start on the journey
where no one
is walking
but undoing
is done
where
end is inevitable.


If the mind is not realized, down the rabbit hole you will go where unimaginable horrors awaits you, where suffering is unavoidable.

meaningless pursuit

let’s not talk about tomorrow
or even yesterday
as much is on our plate
is constantly now

let’s not talk about later
or even awhile ago
as much in our space
is what is already here
now

yet the now is giving way
to another now
endlessly
seamlessly
forgetting for a moment
how transient now is

if past has already gone
and future has yet to arise
and now
sigh…
is constantly passing off
what is left of me
except
a ghost,
a bubble,
arising to die?

what am I here for
I wonder…
in the midst of transiency
uncontrollable
and constant exhaustion
of experiences
i could not even call mine
and yet
experience I have to
not a moment
past
without it.

woeful indeed
to be such,
of nobody’s land
of unseen territory
of endless journey
seeing no end to it

to awaken is bliss.
beyond…
this is what i am here for
to walk the way
other than that
all are meaningless.

convoluted perception

ignorance works darn strangely
and definitely ignorantly –
when one doesn’t face her inner voices
one points a finger at others
by making wrongness in them
or play God by
summoning what should and should not be done

instead of seeing what is within that needs reform
ignorance misplaces one’s vision
with misperception
mistaking what is true as false
and making what is false as further truth
unknowingly
creating righteousness out of wrongness
furthering what is already in front –
instead of healing
to total oblivion

having seen you so often
I simply can’t believe
how blatant you can be
reappearing again when condition permits
through the backdoor of non-awareness
entering as words of concern
or advice of so-called wisdom
and at times under pretence of compassion
as though holier than thou

in sheep skin
you came asunder
only to be found later
a wolf
of deep revenge
returning with a vengeance
of what is not faced
pushed many a times
to the abyss of the mind
through ancient times
of self deceit
and self betrayal
of lessons unlearned
returning to haunt
one more time
and yet another

with wisdom razor sharp clarity
with supporting right perception
and right understanding
one leaves the world
as one leaves what has been excreted
never again unawake
never again ignorant
to the delusion the mind creates
winning the other shore
so difficult to reach.

sankhara

i appear quick
nothing incomparable
and you
mistaken me
and
preposition me instead!
ignorant you are
to mistake my state
and for that
you have to exist
a little longer

i am not at fault
that you keep existing
except a mistake
in ignorance
of what i am
for i could not help
but to appear
as that is not
my own doing
but
your own

i am a formation
a fabrication only
demising as quickly
as in appearing
nothing left
not even a trail
but you
viewed me wrongly
and thus
a world of consciousness
appears

from it
history repeats
of mind and strange body
with six senses
in contacting
arousing feeling
thus craving follows suit
of attachment
and becoming
leading to birth again
with decay and death

i am just an object
see me clearly
nothing further than that
see me as just that
as what i am
no prepositioning
no furthering
no more, no less
and you will be out
from this ridiculous
tiresome returning

if you care to listen
be aware
as i arises
with nothing
for you
to you
with you
by you
just
condition
makes me so

only this Way
no returning is possible.
where other
absurd ways
of outdoing
of ignoring me
of seeking elsewhere
of trying all sorts
nothing will
come to be
except another return

see me in mind
including you
just as “seeing”
without me in it
otherwise
a furthering,
a preposition
has occurred
just me as me
seeing as seeing
of two formations.

no for
no to
no with
no by
no doer, in short
just is
as i appears
with another
just as same
known as such
“just is”

with no
ignorance
formation ends
no consciousness
no mind and strange body
no six senses
no contact
no feeling
no craving
not to mention attachment
and becoming
no birth
no decay and death

no birth
not even birthday
no death
no you
no me
no time
no place
no past
no future
not even present
only
right view meeting formation

from
dukkha
to
upekkha
to
nibbana

14 May 2019


Right at the doorstep of your mind has the world arising once more, or ending here and now, depending on whether you see it correctly or wrongly as it arises to meet you. It is occurring  moment to moment in your mind. You just need to be there to meet it, as it meets you.
The end of the world is not found outside.

i could only stretch out my hands

you asked me
in perplexity,
what’s wrong in having wrong views
what’s wrong in judging others
what’s wrong with a little upset
to pass a day
or a grumpy moody temperament
or not seeing the world correctly as it is?

you questioned me,
is there anything wrong?
and since it does not concern you
except all for myself
to experience
trusting that all too will end
what does it matter
why do you care
who are you to question
and most of all
isn’t that “normal”
considering that everyone else is such?

you looked at me, puzzled
challenging, defending, protecting
what has always been in you
comfortable amidst unease
never questioning it
seeing no reason to change
for you thought it was
“normal”

for
you can only know
what you already know
and not know at all
what you do not know
and for that
you have yet to taste what it is like
beyond “normal”

for that
I could only stretch out my hands openly
inviting you to listen a little
to ponder a little
to question a little
of the little I know
of the little I understood
and realized

as I share
do contemplate
do reflect
do question
do ponder deeply
so as not to take on blindly of what I said
and do also let your defence be put aside
and see where I am coming from
for all I could only do
is to stretch out my hands openly
trusting one day
what I know now
will also be yours to realize.

It’s not about wrong
it’s not about right
neither is it about poking
or intruding into your life
it is about you
seeking and yet not finding
what you truly have
and not seeing it
though right in front of your eyes

I could only stretch out my hands openly
never intending to convert you
or force you to see what I can see
except to point to you consciously
for you to see it for yourself
what you have really missed
without blind belief
but
with direct experience
and self-realize
so that you can be assured
you will finally
find the shore
of what you have all these while been seeking
but not finding.

i am you yet not you

you know me not
though i am doing you
deciding for you
in most intentions
of which you credit it
as your own
how could you not know me
since it was me who decide
every moment
and not you?

surely you are blind
to my presence
or purely ignorant
of my existence
of which i am glad too
as then i could play my role
a little longer
which has since been
of immemorial time
which you do not recall

i am the one
who made you return
though you may think
this is your only lifetime
a skilful conjuring
on my part
so that you won’t be
overwhelmed
by what has happened
of lifetimes uncountable to you

i will not reveal myself
but one day you will find out
of which you might detest me
for returning you here again
and instead of grateful
you see me as an enemy
betraying your return
yet, what has it got to do with me
except your own ignorance
that made me up?

you see, it was ignorance
that made me up
and because of that
you are made up by me
and me, in return made you up
a confusing situation
of origin not yet understood
which “you” thinking is a self
continues to exist
and poor me doing the entire work

your returning
is not by some fluke shot
or of two minds
in ecstatic merge
or cells that race to meet its grand price
though they do play a condition
in preparing me
of potent force
that makes you immortal

you think you are mortal
but let me tell you
a secret only few do know
your many a birth has been long
returning with no end at sight
except each met with death
of which is being staged
so that you enjoy a little while
for me to exist
… do thank me for that!

the one who found me
has exposed my agenda
who knows
you could be the next
but worry not
for i will do my conjuring
to make you enjoy dreaming
and detest awakening
so that my spell
will never be broken

i promise
i will make you again
so do not fear death
as you will never die under me
though your body end
but you, i will gladly preserve
serving an existence
that is but just a spell
of no one living
but just a dream of you.

now if you wish
to wake up to me
make sure
you are very certain
for you are going to end
and me will not exist
together a pair
we vanish
into thin air and eternity
after all just a play, but quite a real one!

so who am i?
i am you!
yet you are not me
for you don’t really exist
except a figment of delusion
of a reality
not yet understood
awaiting something
within your mind
to reveal it.

 

11 May 2019

no world except your mind

as you see outside
it is your mind seeing
as you judge outside
it is your mind judging
outside is but your own mind
of ideas
perceptions and all formations
and feelings and consciousness
together with it too.

the world is you
yet there is no you in the world
of mind-made phenomena
conjuring, fabricating and making
of which the mind is the cause
mind indeed the forerunner
practice to see them correctly
practice to finally end the delusion
practice to taste the fruit of Unconditioned.

yet who practices,
if there is no one?
no self, no entity?
not who, rather what
it is views that practice
views that know
views that determine
views that make wrong
and views that make right.

in the making, in the end

thinking brought me in
it is also thinking
that brought me out
though the me
was never at all found
except thinking me

the thinking that made me
Is different from
the thinking that leads
to the end of me
thinking with no thinker
except a thinker in the making

thinking is making
and making is
to make up
to make sense
to think out
what is not known yet

but to know
is not to think
and think to know
is not knowing
do I know?
or am i thinking now?

oh dear!
looks like i am confuse
to think or not to think?
know or not to know?
is it really a choice
except thinking about it?

the true way of knowing
is first to think right
without arriving
at a knowing yet
until knowing
how to think right

the way of thinking
is the key of the Way
think right,
me is just another idea
think wrong,
me come to be

to think right
i must ask the One
as to think wrong
is my norm
thus trust not at all
my own thinking

to think right
is to understand the Way
think wrong
is believing my own thoughts
differentiating both
i begin the Way

diligently aware
i think right
knowing wrong thinking
think right again
to think right, an understanding
think wrong, an empty belief

misery is found in thought
freedom too in right thinking
knowing them clearly
the wise travel west
leaving the east behind
as from dark to light.

Sequel, 27 December 2018

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