presence

all I am seeking is you
day and night in search
in every of my moment
just to come close to you

sometimes I find you in friendships
sometimes in possessions
sometimes at home
sometimes in fear
sometimes in isolation
sometimes in clubs
sometimes in love
sometimes in anger
even in righteousness
strangely in conflict
and even in argument
or in vanity too

in any of these situations
be it pleasant or unpleasant
I am staying put no matter how long
as You are there for me
somehow I just knew
otherwise I would have left
to seek you out again elsewhere

I fell for you
yet you are illusive
like a shadow you come and go
sometimes here sometimes not
whatever it is I am always seeking
on the lookout for you
never giving up

in fact life is ALL about you
otherwise life has no more meaning
lifeless, empty, devoid of will
fading away like a fallen leave
awaiting death’s calling
only to keep seeking
what awaits beyond

only of late did I notice
other than gratifying
or satisfying
or identifying
attaching or even resisting
whatever that I can to be with you
I can also find you through other means

instead of seeking
I am learning to feel you
in the already present moment
in stability, in non-interference
in stillness accepting what is
no matter how difficult
somehow you are here, always

this is indeed a pleasant surprise
as in the past I have to seek
but now I only need to be still
being in the present
not forgetting and consistent
and in so doing
you reveal yourself once again

only Now do I see the difference
in the past it was merely a referential identification
but now a PRESENCE

 

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