i am you yet not you

you know me not
though i am doing you
deciding for you
in most intentions
of which you credit it
as your own
how could you not know me
since it was me who decide
every moment
and not you?

surely you are blind
to my presence
or purely ignorant
of my existence
of which i am glad too
as then i could play my role
a little longer
which has since been
of immemorial time
which you do not recall

i am the one
who made you return
though you may think
this is your only lifetime
a skilful conjuring
on my part
so that you won’t be
overwhelmed
by what has happened
of lifetimes uncountable to you

i will not reveal myself
but one day you will find out
of which you might detest me
for returning you here again
and instead of grateful
you see me as an enemy
betraying your return
yet, what has it got to do with me
except your own ignorance
that made me up?

you see, it was ignorance
that made me up
and because of that
you are made up by me
and me, in return made you up
a confusing situation
of origin not yet understood
which “you” thinking is a self
continues to exist
and poor me doing the entire work

your returning
is not by some fluke shot
or of two minds
in ecstatic merge
or cells that race to meet its grand price
though they do play a condition
in preparing me
of potent force
that makes you immortal

you think you are mortal
but let me tell you
a secret only few do know
your many a birth has been long
returning with no end at sight
except each met with death
of which is being staged
so that you enjoy a little while
for me to exist
… do thank me for that!

the one who found me
has exposed my agenda
who knows
you could be the next
but worry not
for i will do my conjuring
to make you enjoy dreaming
and detest awakening
so that my spell
will never be broken

i promise
i will make you again
so do not fear death
as you will never die under me
though your body end
but you, i will gladly preserve
serving an existence
that is but just a spell
of no one living
but just a dream of you.

now if you wish
to wake up to me
make sure
you are very certain
for you are going to end
and me will not exist
together a pair
we vanish
into thin air and eternity
after all just a play, but quite a real one!

so who am i?
i am you!
yet you are not me
for you don’t really exist
except a figment of delusion
of a reality
not yet understood
awaiting something
within your mind
to reveal it.

11 May 2019